Caged
A Note from the Writer
I wrote “Caged” as an exploration of family, sacrifice, emotional exhaustion, motherhood, and the things we carry silently.
I wanted to write a character who spends her entire day taking care of everyone around her while quietly struggling with something she has not allowed herself to fully confront. Through Odessa, I wanted to explore what happens when someone becomes so accustomed to being strong for everyone else that they eventually have very little strength left for themselves.
The story follows Odessa, a grandmother, wife, and mother, through what begins as an ordinary day with her grandson. She makes breakfast, runs errands, answers a phone call, and begins searching for her son, Ricardo, after learning that something may be wrong.
As the day continues, Odessa's responsibilities begin piling on top of one another. She has to be a grandmother, a mother, a wife, and the person everyone depends on, even while dealing with her own physical and emotional exhaustion.
The title “Caged” comes from the recurring image of the monster she tries to keep contained.
I wanted the monster to remain open to interpretation.
Is it her exhaustion? Her anxiety? Her pain? Her responsibilities? Her emotional struggles? Or is it everything she has spent years pushing down?
One of the things I am learning as I continue developing my fiction is that I do not always have to explain exactly what a character is feeling. Sometimes the physical reactions, dialogue, imagery, and actions can allow the reader to discover those emotions for themselves.
This story also allowed me to experiment with showing the emotional weight of a character through her surroundings and the way she interacts with the people around her.
“Caged” is one of the pieces I am adding to my growing writing portfolio, and it is another step toward developing the kind of writer I want to become.
I would genuinely love feedback from other writers and readers.
What did you think the monster represented?
Did you feel Odessa's emotional exhaustion throughout the story?
Were there any moments that stood out to you?
Thank you for taking the time to read my work. 🖤
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Caged
My body was slumped over the bed. The sheets were covering parts of my feet and legs. My head was leaning off the side. Drool had begun to create a puddle on my sheets. The pillows were sprawled around the room. The sun rays began to enter the room. Particles of dust floated through the rays shimmering like glitter. As the rays hugged my face, I couldn’t help but rise. I stretched my arms and legs. Pulling myself out of bed was like pulling cement bricks out of the ocean with your bare hands. I felt like a paper weight. I slowly guided my feet to the side of the bed. I grabbed some white tube socks and put them on my feet. The house was chilly. My slip was white and thin. I grabbed my robe so that I could warm up. I walked into my grandson’s room to check and see if he was still sleep. The bed seemed to be vacant. I heard the kitchen TV blaring “You are not the Father!” as I scooted slowly to the kitchen, I saw my grandson on the vinyl floor emulating Maury with his action figures.
“Hey Grandma! I am hungry?” My grandson said innocently.
“Well, I can make you some toast, sausage, and eggs” I said with a smile.
“Yay!” he screamed.
I walked around him toward the kitchen sink. Dishes covered in grease and food sat in the sink from yesterday’s dinner. I usually clean from the night before but my body gave out. I ran the dish water to start dishes so I could cook later tonight. Maury had just came on TV and my grandson began screaming “You are not the father!” Suddenly, it felt like I was getting beat in the head with a hammer repeatedly. A blistering headache had swept the front of my head. I always got these headaches but I just decided to push through it. I didn’t believe in medicine. I mean how can you blame me? Coming out of the civil rights movement where blacks were on the receiving end of malpractice detoured me from medication and seeking medical attention. So I did what my grandparents, mother and father did; I made me some coffee. I had been battling diabetes for a while now. I am sure that’s why I had been receiving these headaches. But I haven’t told my family. I don’t want to add extra stress on my family.
I was that unconventional grandma. I would do any and everything for my grandkids and family. However, I was not always like this. When my daughter Tiffany got pregnant in college, I was not the most accepting. I had worked hard to build Tiffany to be the woman I always wanted to be. Tiffany was beautiful and looked just like me. However, I wore dresses and she wore sneakers. I liked getting my hair done and she liked hanging with the basketball players. Our differences would turn into conflict, however as I got older, I grew to understand that my daughter had a life of her own. I had to accept my daughter for who she was. When my grandson was born, I felt like I had a chance to start over. To do things differently. I wanted to show her that I wasn’t the same mother I used to be. I quickly learned this to be true.
As the hot water boiled for my instant coffee, I began to make the scrambled eggs for my son. Being from the country, I naturally adopted ways of cooking that most would think was outrageous. However, because it was me and my grandson, I didn’t have anyone unfamiliar judging me based off my cooking habits. I put the sausage in the microwave and let it cook for about 3 minutes. As I plated the eggs, I put the toast in the oven and fixed my coffee. Maury had started to end and the 10 o’clock news had come on. I grabbed my coffee and placed our plates in some McDonald trays I had when my grandson and I would dine in. I sat in my regular spot on the end of the sofa by the house phone and my grandson made a palette on the floor to eat.
As I finished eating, my headache began to subside. I looked at the clock and it was almost 11:30 a.m. Even though I had just started my day, I could feel it coming over me. It was this heavy feeling. This feeling I couldn’t shake or explain. I had started to recognize that the only way to ignore it was to cage it as much as possible. However, you can’t cage a monster forever. They have to come out sometime.
I left my grandson in the living room to go pick our clothes for the day. I threw on some simple jeans and a white Westover High School T shirt. I pulled out some basketball shorts, red sneakers and a Power Ranger shirt for my grandson. I walked to the front with his clothes. He immediately got up and got dressed.
“Where are we going Grandma?” he said inquisitively.
He loved to ask questions and I loved to answer. As I went to grab my keys off the counter, I answered him.
“Well... for starters we need to go to Harvey’s to get some fried shrimp and fries. Then I have to go pay some bills and after, we are going to visit your Uncle,” I said with a quickness.
“Can we stop and get some ice cream?” he said with a soft joy.
I turned my face up. I made this expression like I was questioning him but it was also combined with a slight smile. I would always be shocked at how he had so much courage.
“I’ll buy us some from the grocery store.”
As we were headed to the car, I could hear the house phone ringing. I had every mind to go back inside to see who it was, but I thought if it was important then they would call my cell phone. I put my grandson in the truck. He always liked to think he was Bubble Boy when he was in my truck. My seats were covered with plastic and he would always imagine us riding in a big plastic bubble.
The grocery store was not that far from the house. I turned on the radio and began our day. As we approached the grocery store to park, my cell phone started to ring. I pulled it out of my Dooney and Bourke purse to see who it was. I opened my Razr and it was the hotel manager calling. I didn’t know what this was about. My body became weak from the feeling of the unknown. I was anxious to answer but I had to take the call.
“Odessa!” The hotel manager said with a smile.
“Well, look at who’s calling. What’s going on Raj? Is everything alright?” I asked.
“Yeah, I just wanted to check in with you. You are always timely when paying, I just was concerned...” He said cautiously.
“Well it seems to be a problem. I’m out with my grandson but I can come by if you need me to,” I said.
“Well O.D. I know Ricardo has some peculiar friends. However, I remember seeing him this morning during breakfast. He asked me if I could get a housekeeper to clean his room. I agreed and asked where he was going. He just walked out. Usually he will let me know or say alright if it’s something he didn’t want me telling you,” he said.
I instantly began to worry. I couldn’t even gather my thoughts. There was a sudden pause over the phone. Raj and I were breathing in sync. This is how I knew something was wrong. I couldn’t show my true feelings because I didn’t want to scare my grandson.
“Alright Raj, did you watch him walk or turn the corner?” I asked inquisitively.
“I did watch him walk down Oglethorpe but he turned and started walking toward the left at the light,” Raj said quickly.
“Ok, thank you Raj. I am about to ride around and see if I can find him. I will update you as soon as I hear something,” I said sternly.
I couldn’t introduce this to my grandson. This was adult business and I wanted to protect his adolescent mind as much as possible.
“Hey, so we gotta go see your uncle first. We can come back and get the groceries after,” I said.
My grandson took a long look at me. Without saying anything he knew something was wrong. He immediately said okay and started playing with his action figures. It was a relief to not get any questions regarding the incident. I had no capacity or words to explain this situation to him. As I latched my seat belt across my body, the monster headache in my head began to bang louder and louder. The dread began to pack on more weight onto my body but I couldn’t give up. I transitioned from Grandma to mother.
I pulled away from the grocery store. As we made our way to Oglethorpe Street I could see my grandson nod off. I lowered the radio so I could keep him asleep while I looked for his uncle.
My son was not like any son. My son was my son. Ricardo had been the light to our tunnel. He was different. In school I not only had to protect him from teachers but from students as well. Ricardo had a learning disability and back in the 90s there weren’t programs like ESP to assist him with his learning curve. So being the mother that I was, I had to step in on his education to make sure that he was receiving it properly. It got to a point where the children were bullying him because of his disability and now because I had frequently been coming in to make sure he was not missing out on his education.
I could tell my son just wanted to fit in. He wanted to be included. My heart felt for him. Every day I asked God to bring people into his life that he could relate and bond with. Then I realized you have to be careful what you ask for.
As I drove through the streets, the corners were filled with prostitutes. These were like the eyes, ears and mouths to the streets. The prostitutes were kind... if you paid them. There was one particular prostitute that was good friends with Ricardo. They knew each other from high school. She was a sweet girl when she was younger. However, with the wrong influences, she and Ricardo ended up in the same area. I pulled up slowly to Wanda. She recognized my truck and started to approach the passenger window. I rolled it down.
“Hey Ms. Trent, how you!? I haven’t seen you in a while. Every time I see Rick... I mean Ricardo, I tell him to tell you I said hey! You came to check on me?” she stated.
Spit had flown through her missing teeth into my truck. I really had come to see where Ricardo was but I had to know if she had any information. I understood her lifestyle, so I pulled out a twenty in exchange for her information.
“Hey baby, yes yes, I came to check in on you. I got you some money. Here goes a $20,” I said passionately.
“Mrs. Trent! Tank you so much! I just saw Ricardo! He just walked here to meet yo Brother James,” she said promptly after grabbing the money. It’s almost like she knew what I was really there for.
“Oh really? Did they walk off together or did they split up?” I asked.
“They had split up. I think James went back to his house on Sl... sl... Slappy,” she said with a stutter in her voice.
“Ok baby! Imma go check there. You take care of yourself Wanda. I don’t want to have to go talk to yo momma!” I said sternly.
She smiled and waved me goodbye. I drove toward James’s house full speed ahead. I just couldn’t shake the fact that Ricardo may have been in danger. Ricardo wasn’t a bad child. He had the sweetest heart. It’s just unfortunate that because of who he is, he is easily influenced.
When Ricardo got older, he started to hang around people I didn’t approve of. As I was driving, I started to have flashbacks of me and Ricardo arguing about him going to Miami for college. I had urged him to go to college here with the rest of his family so I could watch and support him. I was nervous that he might get taken advantage of. And if I be damned, it happened.
The first summer at college, Ricardo had returned home and something was off about him. From that day on, Ricardo was never the same.
James’s house was what we called “Old Albany.” He had lived on the side of town where we associate people who lived on the west side as “River Rats.” This is where the drug dealers and gang members usually hang. James was not shy. James was not new to criminal activity. James also does heavy drugs.
As I pulled up to James’s house, I made sure to throw a blanket over my grandson and his toys in the back seat. Men were outside standing, drinking loudly and throwing dice against the house.
“O.D.!” rang from their voices like a quartet.
“Look what the money drug in,” one of the men stated.
I chuckled and grabbed my purse tightly.
“Have y’all seen James?” I asked swiftly.
“Yeah, O.D. He inside,” the man stated.
I walked to the door and knocked twice.
“Who is it?” James said with a raspy voice.
I could smell the cigarette smoke coming through the door.
“It’s your sister,” I said loudly.
“Odessa?” James said.
“Yeah,” I said.
He opened the door quickly.
“Hey, have you seen Ricardo?” I asked.
James put his head down.
“Momma?” said Ricardo.
His voice was faint, but I could hear him clearly. I ran to the back of the house. James followed.
“Ricardo!” I said in shock.
The monster headache I had caged had become worse. I could feel the bars of the cage breaking. I was not in the best headspace to be dealing with this, but here I was. The time on my watch was 3 p.m. sharp.
Ricardo was leaning in the chair. His eye was swollen, and his lips resembled blown up balloons. He was bleeding from his nose, and he seemed to be out of it. I immediately dropped to my knees. My heart was broken. I couldn’t think of anything else but my son, my son.
James stood in the corner. Tears rolled down his eyes. I looked back at James with tears in my eyes. I turned back to Ricardo. I pulled a piece of tissue out of my bag to clean up the blood on his face. As I sobbed, I started to ask questions.
“Ricardo... baby... who did this to you? Are you okay? Do we need to go to the hospital? Let’s go to the hospital...” I said softly to him.
“Momma... please... I just want to go home,” he said.
My eyes filled with water. I agreed with him. I picked him up out of the chair. Ricardo was heavy, so I had him lean on me to walk. Ricardo kept saying his legs hurt. As I looked down at them, he was limping and couldn’t walk on his foot.
When we made it to the car, my grandson had woken up. He was sitting straight up in his seat. As we approached the truck, my grandson opened the back door. There was an eerie silence that ran throughout the street. The men that were outside had become silent. The buzz of the streetlight became super loud.
My grandson watched as I helped Ricardo into the truck. James watched us from his screen door. I looked back at James with tears in my eyes. I got in my truck and slammed the door. Tears were rolling down my eyes as I drove to Ricardo’s hotel room.
We had finally arrived at Ricardo’s hotel. I told my grandson to go sit with Raj in the front of the receptionist desk. Once I was able to finally get him in the room, I started to clean his room and gather his dirty clothes to wash. As I was wiping down his things, my headache had become worse.
At this point, I was drained. I had no energy to go to the grocery store, but I had to get my grandson some ice cream. I looked at my watch, and it was now 5:30 p.m. It was almost dinner time.
“Momma,” Ricardo said.
“Yes,” I said.
“Wanda said hey!” Ricardo said with his mouth swollen and eyes sitting low.
“Yes, baby. I know she told me,” I said with a shaky voice.
I began to cry again. My heart had sunk. I would have never thought my child would be going through this. I couldn’t shake the thoughts in my head.
Did he get jumped? Was this James’s fault? Was this a bad drug deal? Did he try to sell his body to the wrong person?
As I finished wiping down his room, I told Ricardo I had to leave, but I’d be back tomorrow when I was in a better space. I gave him a kiss on his head and went to the front to get my grandson.
I was headed back to the house. I stopped by the gas station to get my grandson ice cream. As I arrived home, my husband’s truck was parked outside. I entered the house exhausted. My grandson followed behind me. My feet were sluggish. I had no more energy left.
Two Whoppers and one Whopper Junior were on the kitchen counter. My husband had stopped to get me and our grandson something to eat. I wasn’t in the mood. Ricardo was still on my mind. I had no one to talk to about this. It began to weigh on my body.
My grandson stayed in the den with my husband while they watched The Simpsons. I kicked off my shoes and left them by the kitchen door. As I made it to my room, I took my pants off. I had to pee really badly. As I washed my hands from using the restroom, the pounding in my head had increased. I had a feeling that something was behind me.
I didn’t even have the energy to shower. So many things were on my mind. My husband, my grandson, Ricardo. All ran through my head one by one.
As I pulled back my sheets to get ready for bed, I could feel something behind me. I had felt this touch before. It felt dark, and it was cold at the same time. The embrace the figure gave me was very frigid, but there was a sense of emotional warmth in their arms.
I had been here every night. This is how my day normally ended. Me not having enough energy to take care of my duties for myself. I sacrifice so much for my family. I give so much of myself to being a wife, a mother, and a grandmother. It’s like I’m losing myself to everyone and everything else.
I couldn’t help but accept the monster’s touch and allow the headaches to take over. I had no more fight to give.
As I sat in bed looking at the ceiling, I turned to my side to look at my family photo. I stared at it for at least five seconds before turning the photo down on its face.
I turned to the other side to cuddle with the monster.
Hoping to wake up the next day with the sheets on my feet and legs.
Praying that I could finally maneuver outside of my head.
Hoping everything will be okay for me in the end.
As soon as I closed my eyes, the sun rays burst through my blinds.
And there I was again, pulling myself out of bed.
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